Five

I am a mom of five. It feels strange saying, but I am. I walk around most days, sleep deprived, slightly smelly, in yoga pants, wearing my most precious possession, a simple wire nest with five little pearl beads. Five little beads for five little babies. You can watch people do the math as they look at my necklace, at me, then at my little people gathered around me, trying to make the math work. I know exactly how they feel, I desperately want the math to work too. 

I want the math to work on Monday mornings, when I'm sitting with a hot cup of coffee watching my two boys laugh over cartoons as their sister sleeps in the swing. I want the math to work while we are buckling our three into the van for a family outing. I long for the math to add up on Christmas morning, birthdays, and most of all mothers day. I'm desperate for the math to work when we line up for a family photo. Three little smiling faces, unknowing that two are missing. 

I try to make the math work while missing two little faces. Two little faces that I never got to see, two little faces that I never got to know. My two missing little people that I never got to hold.

There's a desperate grief in miscarriage. A desperation to have something, anything to hold on too, something to remember, something for others to remember. It leaves a hole in your family that others don't see, but that you feel. It settles into you, becomes a part of you, soaking into your essence, like unfinished business. A part of you stays in waiting, waiting for what is missing. Your heart knows the cycle wasn't complete, and you being to live in it.  You being to live in not quite complete, but not completely broken.

There are moments, moments where the boys are fighting, because one wants play ninja so natural he picks the fight with the other, just so he'll play too. Moments where the washer is going, the baby is crying needing to be feed, someone is running around naked, you realize that smell is actually you, as you slide cold coffee into the microwave for the 4th time, and the power goes off, because you forgot to pay the bill, again.

Those moments, you don't forget, you just don't remember. Life floods over the pain, the loss. Your mind becomes filled with all the task of motherhood, the dishes, the laundry, dinner, diaper changes, bedtime routines, and for a moment you are so focused on the here and now that you forget the wishes. The wishes that come in the quite, the wishes of having all five little people in my nest.

Sometimes you sit straining to make the math work, wondering how all your little people would fit together, how personalities would mesh, what would be the same, what would be different.

Would our missing little people have the wild mowak that our baby girl has, would they be fiery independence and slightly stubbornness like our oldest. A calm, hysterical, nudist like our middlest? Or two other totally different balls of personality, unknown to our family dynamic? Would we have four boys, and one girl? Two boys, and three girls? Or one more of each? Would or life be completely different, or absolutely the same?

Life feels split between these two extremes. You never know what side you will fall on. One moment life is flooding over you, the next your heart flooding on to the floor. Day by day, moment by moment, you never know where your going to fall. You watch people try to do the math, and answer the questions people are scared to ask. 

Yes, I am a mother of five.
Yes, we had two miscarriages.
Yes, the math doesn't work, its hard, its sad, it hurts, but its okay.

Because I'm a mom and that's all I ever wanted to be.

30 reasons

I have this thing with crowns. 

Now, I don't rock one every day, but I will rock a crown on my birthday. There's just something about a birthday, you can get away with some silly stuff. 

30 reasons to rock a crown.

1. It's your birthday.

2. Laundry is more fun to fold.

3. Pedis look better when matching a crown.

4. Lip synic car solos are more awesome.

5. Bubble baths always need a crown.

6. Reading, come on, who doesn't want to be Belle? 

7. Your kids will think your awesome (if they are little)

8. Your kids will think your crazy (if they are older) 

9. It's Monday

10. It's Tuesday 

11. It's Wednesday 

12. It's Thursday 

13. It's Friday 

14. It's Saturday

15. It's Sunday

16. Your kids are melting down. They will be so confused they will stop crying, trust me, it works. 

17. Dishes get cleaner when being washed by someone in a crown.

18. Same with dusting.

19. Scrubbing a toilet while rocking a crown, a Cinderella experience. 

20. Paying bills. I know I need everything I can get to make that better!

21. Grocery shopping, extra points if you ride in the cart.

22. Shoe shopping. Go after you do number 19. 

23. Changing a squirmy babies diaper, distract them with the sparkles. 

24. Laying out. Come on a crown goes with everything.

25. Drinking coffee, pinkies out! 

26. Having dinner, seriously royal feast, duh. 

27. Checking the mail, give your neighbors something to talk about. 

28. A play date, nothing says "I'm here to party" like a crown.

29. To bed. If sleeping beauty can do it, so can you.

30. Quite time. We are daughters of the king, sometimes we need a little help remembering it. 

How would you rock a crown? 

Oh 30

I turn 30 Friday. I'll admit, I thought I was good. I was excited about 30 since I turned 27. It's strange I know. But then, it hit. 

I had to trim my bangs wearing reading glass..... 

I am going to try and make this turning 30 thing fun, so this week I am going to be blogging on 30. 

Here's my first 30 on 30.

30 things you didn't know about me.

1. Im scared of turkeys

2. I'm the oldest of 4.

3. When I was a kid, I was in a lot of commercials.

4. I grew up around the TV industry. Its not as cool as you think.  

5. I didn't learn how to walk in heels till I was 20.

6. I had purple hair in high school.

7. I also had blonde hair. 

8. I have a thing with my hair, it just can't stay the same.

9. I had someone once think I was Reese Witherspoon, it made me laugh.

10. I worked in a jewlery store in the Charlotte Airport and saw all kinds of craziness.

11. I'm a big NASCAR fan. Yes closet redneck over here.

12. One word, STEELERS...

13. I went to collage for Interior Design.

14. Didn't graduate because of one credit. (Stupid auto cad) 

15. I'm slightly color blind.

16. I am the worlds worse speller.

17. I don't know how to use a comma.

18. I love to read.

19 I read the whole Ann of Green Gables collection one summer when I was 10.

20. I danced for 10 years

21. I played one season of basket ball (it was as bad as you can imagine.)

22. I'm 5'3 (see previous)

23. All of my siblings are significantly taller then me. 

24. I moved to Charleston on  a whim. (It was just suppose to be a week vacay!)

25. I had cervical cancer at 20.

26. I wasn't suppose to be able to have kids naturally.

27. I was 21 when I got my drivers license.

28. Our wedding was a surprise wedding (that's the way to go!)

29.  I swear I saw a ghost when I was little.

30. I'm very claustrophobic! 

Do you have any random facts? I would love to read them.

Dear Yoga Pants

Yoga pants, I remember the day you came into my life. I was swollen, pregnant, sick, chasing after a toddler, while out of town. The out of town trip where I magically grew twice my size till nothing I brought, fit. But there you were yoga pants. Ready to give me comfort and the gift of breathing again. 

Oh yoga pants, we have come through so much. The birth of my little guy, and trips to the niccu. To late night feedings and runs to Target. Remember when it was me and you, for days on end, when the hubby was out of town for months? You gave me so much comfort and made it easy to collapse into bed every night in comfort. Battling toddlers, stomach bugs, and another pregnancy, we got through it together. 

I still laugh at the few times we worked out. What was that about? We both knew we were meant to be together, curled up on the couch, pretending we were watching doc mcstuffins because the kids wanted too. 

Good times yoga pants, good times. 

Oh yoga pants, I guess it was too much for you. To much togetherness, to many days changing diapers, kissing boo boos,  cleaning the house, pretending to be 'active'. Yoga pants, it's time for you to go. You have be worn with love and dedication, what more can a pair of pants ask for? After all, the holes across the rear shows our battle scars, and shows my undies, which is why your now sitting in the bottom of the trash can. 

Because really no one wants a toddler poking them in the butt laughing at their undies, all day. 

So good bye old friend, it's been a ride. 

Oil Junkie

My name is Tiffany, and I'm an oil junkie. 

Whew, it feels good to say that. 

Seriously, we are an oil family. It has been a slow process but, has changed so much for our lives. I have had a lot of people ask me about oils, and it can be a very overwhelming, but if you start small it is easy to manage. For us it started with my search for a holistic approach to help manage my emotional well-being.

But oils can be used for everything. Here is just an example of all the ways we use our oils almost every day.

Peppermint:

For the baby girl, we use it mixed with a carrier oil (we use coconut oil) on her chest to help her digestion. Since we have been using it, she has been able to lay on her back again with out any pain, and with minimal spit up.

Its allergy season down here already. Peppermint has been helping just breath better. We use peppermint with a carrier oil and rub it to chest and bottom of the little ones feet. 

I had my first cycle since the baby was born and I was, well awful! I mixed peppermint and lavender with a carrier oil to ease and relax my muscles and give me some extra energy. Peppermint is also a great pick me up and appetite suppressant.

Lavender:

Lavender is amazing. We put it on the little ones feet to help them sleep.

Lavender is great for cuts and skinned knees, so with two boys around the house, we get a lot of use out of the lavender!

Lemon:

I'm slightly addicted to the lemon, not only does it smell amazing, you can clean basically EVERYTHING with it. Bye bye chemicals. The biggest thing about them, is its a total detox for you body. Every day I drink a nice glass of lemon water. It has replaced this coffee addicts 3 pm cup of coffee. I can say I feel great afterwards. Both of our little guys easily get, well we will call it bathroom issues. Sometimes they won't go for a few days, and by then its a big issue. After trying everything on the market to get one of them to go, I finally tried a little lemon in water and  has helped keep them regular. No crying, cramping, or drama, it was just done and life moved on. 

I love these oils. Its pretty amazing how simple they are and how much you can do in your daily life with just these three little bottles! 

Wanna look at more oils? 

Check out my doterra, 

and if you have any questions feel free to ask! 

I would love to help you become an oil junkie too!

Little Mommaness

I am a little momma. Not just because I'm 5'3", and on the petite side. Not just because I am a mom to three. I have always been a momma. I was the little girl that when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, always answered mom. My siblings were forcefully encouraged most weekends into playing house, and I loved every minute of it. I just was waiting to be a little momma.

So it is strange that last week I went to talk with a friend, I was hit with my little momma-ness. What started with just sitting together, ended with prayers, tears, worship, hugs and restoration.

For me.

The funny thing is. I went for her. To hold her hand, pray with her, do anything I can to help her. But left different. While speaking and praying with her, I could just feel God saying, "you too".


As we talked about claiming "it is done" over her battles, I heard "yours too".
While we prayed accepting the gifts He gave her, I heard "you too."
When we cried, I cried for my past too.
We spoke life into her fears, and life was spoken into mine too.

See I am finding my little momma-ness more and more. I love to listens to peoples stories, pray over pains, speak life into hurts, and encourage people to claim what was already given to them to claim. I momma people. I love to momma people to God.

I'm little. I have a little understanding, He has it all. His ways are bigger then mine, His thoughts are larger then mine. He knows how the story will end, I just know that He knows the story. The sweet thing about being a little momma, is that I can get out of the way. I can let Him move, and move me where He wants. Where He wants me looks little to me, and honestly for a long time that has been very hard for me.

I've wanted more.
More people to love on.
More people listening to me.
More people reading what I have to say.
I didn't want to be little. A little blogger, a little leader, a little person. I didn't want to just be a little momma.
I wanted greatness.
But greatness is not mine to be had.
It's His greatness to be shown.

So who am I to dismiss the littleness that He has granted me?

I am a little momma, wife, blogger, friend, and person. 

Its perfect.

Fixin It

This pregnancy has been a different one for me that's for sure! Not only am I having totally different symptoms then I had with the boys, but I'm pregnant durning the summer! With both the boys I had a winter pregnancy, so I have the winter preggo staples. Tunics, leggings, and comfy flat boots fill my closet. Non of which is useful right now! With Charleston summer in full force this lady needed some help!

Insert Stitch Fix!

I was really excited to get my first fix back in March, so when I started running out of things that would fit over my already swelling form I scheduled my second fix.

I am so glad I did! After getting online and updating my profile, gotta let them know I was already bumping, I received some amazing stuff! Really, every item was perfect and I was so tempted to keep it all. I ended up keeping one of the dresses, only because with my rapidly growing belly I was scared some of the other items wouldn't last very long. 

I have to say I totally love this dress. It's so comfy and breezy! The light weight jersey is perfect for our Charleston  humidity and you can wear it belted or not. I would have never thought to belt it, if it wasn't for my husband suggesting it. Which I thought he was crazy, then I checked the style card that comes attached to every item, and they had it belted! Guess he is more fashionable then I am! 

Needless to say this dress has totally became one of my staple items! I loved being able to try it on with things I already had in my closet.  Thats one of my favorite parts about stitch fix, knowing that the outfit will look good with items you already own, and not standing in a store wondering if it would match those shoes you have on the back of your closest. 

You can set up your stitch fix here! 

Try it out, it's not a monthly commitment or anything like that. It might just change the way you shop. I know it changed the way I do. 

This Season

This season, the time right after Mothers Day, tends to hurt. Some years, it's a bitter sweet kind of pain, other times its a searing kind of sadness. Either way, it hurts.

It all started on Mother's Day 2009, the day I found out I was pregnant with out first child. The day, all the years as being told I wasn't going to be able to have kids changed. The day that was our miracle day. Fast forward a few weeks later, I'm laying on the couch sobbing saying good bye to the baby that I was already madly in love with. 

So this year, I brace my self. Not for overwhelming pain, but for a hopeful silence. 

Silence from me, and hope from Christ.

A hope of one day spending the rest of eternity with all my babies.

A hope for this life growing in me now.

A hope of healing.

A hope of new lessons from old heart ache.

As hard as Mothers Day is, the joy of this day is hope and love. 

Love for our children, not matter where they are. 

Get To Know Me- a link up

Today I am linking up with the Influence Network gals, doing a little get to know you kind of thing!
Oh what is the Influence Network? Well it's an amazing network of women encouraging each other in life, blogging, business, adoption, you name it! Plus there are really great classes to take every month! Get signed up here!.

On to the link up.....

First- a picture you love of your self.

Okay, my picture isn't the best picture. It was dark and grainy, but right now I love it. After flipping through every photo I have this is the one that jumped out at me. Why? I think, no I know I needed to see it today. I needed to be reminded of this moment, what this moment felt like.  

The love and grace that filled that moment.

 Three get to know me things.

* I am beyond addicted to coffee and totally okay with it.

* I have bi-polar disorder. Yes, is might be the first time I'm admitting it on here.

*I'm terrified of turkeys, ya'll I'm serious. Really terrified. 

One thing I've learned on the Network:

That there are real friendships out there, I just have to stop being a hermit and go after them. 

So watch out ladies!

Now off to link up and read more about 

all the wonderful ladies over at the network!

come join the fun!

My babies

 Back in the days before I had ever meet another blogger, or had any idea what my twitter handle was, I made a choice not to put my little peoples names on social media. There was a random event that made me frustrated and a little spied on. Ironic isn't it, a blogger feeling spied on. But, this was years ago when this whole blogger thing felt scary and oddly isolating.

Now, wow, so much has changed. There is so much community our there to be apart of. So much love, so many women supporting each other and becoming friends. Real life not just "online" friends. These women, I know their hearts, their fears, they have seen me walk through miscarriages, births of children, the fear of losing my youngest, and then the miracle of God healing him.

This big scary world, isn't so scary. This big world now feels small and cozy. This big blogging world is amazing. I am so thankful for my friends and for those fears that are gone. So keeping my boys names a secret isn't needed any more. Actions done in fear are never needed. I don't want my boys to learn those actions. I want them to be strong, worshiping warriors, proud of their names.

Meet my babies....

2012 Oh what a year

Late December back in, no wait blogging not singing. I can't believe this year is almost over! I know everyone always says how times flies but this year it seems like it flew faster than normal. Guess that's why happens when there are two little one running around.

I thought about writting a really heavy post on all God has taught me, beaten me over the head with, and whispered to me this year. But honestly I'm exhausted. After the stomach bug, Christmas, and having the Hubby gone since Thanksgiving, my capablity to form complete and coherient thoughts is, well flat out gone.

So enjoy our year in review... Instagram style.

January held the Chosen conference, not being able to see my toes and at time feel my legs. I tried to soak all of January in. That last month before we became a family of four, that last month that it was just be and Buddieboy all day.

 Febuary, wow, Febuary was not what I thought it would be. With the birth of our Littleguy, then his stay in the NNICU and fighting for his life. Not that way I pictured our second son coming into this world. But, we were so blessed. Blessed by our little fighter, blessed by God protecting my heart during this time. Never did I once think that we were going to lose our Littleguy, and I'm so thankful for that.

In March Buddieboy turned two! A wild, crazy, funny, happy two year old.

April I started learning how to juggle being a mom of two.These little boys of mine, make my heart so happy it hurts! I love them so much ((and it blows my mind how big Littleguy has gotten, and yes I dressed them alike for Easter!))

May was for moving. We moved into our first house. I love our house. With it's wood paneling, clothes line, and oldness, our house has home in its bones. May also brought about my re-branding...again.

June brought about my first market, me stepping in out as a business women. Which scared the snot out of me. It still does. I always have fight to be able to stand in that title.

July launched the Mrs Pate Bra Drive. Never did I think that one little idea would grow the way it did! It made me realize to value my voice, and use it for what God wants not always what I want.

 August was just HOT. Everything was just about keeping cool!

September brought about the Hubby's 30th birthday. It was so much fun throwing him a great surprise birthday party! I still don't know how I pulled it off but it was fabulous.

October gave me Influence. The most amazing, exhausting week ever. I adore the community that the Influence conference has created. I had a blast helping to run the market and it inspired me to really take charge and step out in my own business even more.

November gave us orphan Sunday and our first Thanksgiving at home, just the Hubby, Buddieboy and Littleguy. It also gave us the Hubby leaving for an extended work trip, and hours of me creating.

December has been all about giving! Our church launched 100k gifts, encouraging us to give, give give. It has been huge in growing my heart, and teaching Buddieboy about giving. He drew a picture for our garbage "guys" and I gave them coffee gift cards. It was so much fun! Oh and there was Christmas too and the gift of caffeine!

follow me on Instagram @mrstmpate

Coffee Date Friday

Today I'm linking up with Alissa at Rags to Stitches for her coffee date Friday. I've always wanted to link up with her because, well first I adore her face and second I love the idea of a coffee date.

Honestly, you might not want to coffee date with me today.
I'm moody. The Hubby was been out of town working since the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Yes, you read that right ((and yes I want to cry)). I miss him terribly. Like an achy kind of miss him.

Since he's been gone Littleguy has been standing, walking around the coffee table, and had his first Christmas.

Since Hubby has been gone, Buddieboy is speaking in full complex sentences, road a big wheels, and started drinking out of a regular cup. He also has turned into a little character!

Since Hubby has been gone, I've been sick, sad, crocheting, working to build a business, and have been sleeping with a bat by the bed.

 

Since Hubby has been gone. I've missed him so so much.

What about you? What would you chat about?

Over It...

I had a really interesting conversation about mommies yesterday with a mommy friend. This is what I realized. We are our worst enemies. We get so wrapped up in this crazy ranking system: Who's kid slept all night by 6 weeks, who cloth diapers, make their own baby food, who coupons like crazy, ect...

I'm over it.

Not over people that do those things, if that's what you want to do rock on lady! I'm over the fact that some how since I don't do those things I feel like less of a momma (and I know others do too)!

Why? I carried my son for nine months, I pushed him out, I feed him, changed him, loved him more than I thought I could love some one else, I've been pooped on, peed on (for the first time a month ago!), thrown up on, I've had bangs under my eyes for over a year. I've cried when he's cried, I've laughed at his littleness, I've laid him down at night and wonder how we have made it through the day. I put his needs before my own, and prayed for him more than I have ever fathom praying.

Why, because I am a mommy a really good mommy.

I am a mommy who tried cloth diapering and is now over it. I tried breastfeeding, and it didn't work and if it doesn't work this time who cares my child will still be feed. I've made my own baby food, and think there is nothing wrong with buying it!

I vaccinate my children, I let him have a reese cup, french fries, and a sip of coke now and again. I'm okay with him climbing on the coffee table to dance, I'm even okay with him falling off!

I'm the mommy that never has snacks in the diaper bag, heck some times there's not even diapers. I'm the mommy that had to run to the grocery store while running errands to buy a paci because I forgot his! Yes, I'm the mommy that has no problem with my son having a paci (I've never seen anyone go away to college with one, or have to take it out to recite their wedding vows!). I'm the mommy that still fights with my stroller, runs it into the walls and over peoples feet.

Who cares, I'm the mommy after all! I'm the mommy that will not let the devil make me feel like less of a mommy after all. God has made me capable of being the mommy I need to be! Remember that mommies, you are the mommy that God created you to be.

Coupon-less with a caffeine addiction, you are mommy! Rock on!

Thankfulness & Carpal Tunnel

Okay, so maybe I don't have carpal tunnel but by the end of this I might! :) This weekend was a blast! I did my very first festival/ craft fair thing, and I loved it. Not only did I love it but you guys loved it! I feel so blessed that ya'll liked the little things that I made. I'm trying really hard not to turn this in to a mushy 'you like me, you really like me' thing... but....

You like me, you really like me!

Yeah, I couldn't help it! Anyways, Saturday started off a little um, below freezing (yes it wasn't that cold but i'm southern we have thinner blood than you yankes) and was rainy. It wasn't too bad besides the fact that I totally forgot a coat. I ended up laying up on some of my scarfs and gloves that I had made to sell. Total advertising moment! Luckily by the afternoon it was

starting to warm up and turned out to be a really pretty day! I really had a great time talking to people, trying stuff on with them, and playing with the Square.

sidenote: I'm totally in love with the Square, it's this little square that plugs into your Iphone, Ipad, Itouch ect... that scans cards! Its linked to your bank account and it automatically deposits for you. You can take a picture of what you sold and it emails or text the buyer a receipt! You can even keep track of cast transactions! Totally the smartest thing ever! The funny thing is, even when people had cash they just wanted to play with the app! You have to love Mac!

Needless to say I had so much fun Saturday that I wanted to do it again, and I got too!! Sunday I went to Lighthouse Church and did their fall fest. It was so much fun! Totally a different vibe then Rocktober Fest but I loved it! I mean I got to see my first real cake walk! There were so many little people running around that Chris brought Baby Man (dressed as a real Texas Ranger, I mean real badge from Texas, real cowboy hat, and boots! That's what happens when daddy is a Texan there is no buying a felt hat!) I meet so many super nice people and had I think the best cup cake ever!

It was a great weekend and I feel so motivated. I'm so thankful that find something that I love doing and feel like I'm adding to my family and not taking from it. Ever since I was first engaged (all those years ago ;) ) I've always wanted to live out life in a Proverbs 31 type of way so to have the chance to "sell my goods to the merchants" I feel on top of the world.

The funny thing is, it isn't about the amount I made or could make, but its about adding to our home. Doing something creative, worth something, and not wasteful is so rewarding! Who would have thought of me getting my wish of being a SAHM & being a business lady!

The Dull Ache

The 15th of this month was national pregnancy and infant lost day. Everyone was to light a candle for those who have lost a child. I've been messed up ever since...

I don't know if it's from the strain of moving, being pregnant, running around like a crazy person all week trying to be there for everyone else while having this fear of letting someone down, or the fact that Nov. 3rd was suppose to be our due date. But, I'm sad. It's like when you have a hurt muscle and you don't always remember it's there until you turn the wrong way and the pain just shoots through your whole body. It's just like that, but my muscle is my heart. It hurts, it aches, it's bruised.

It sucks....

It sucks that my little one isn't going to be here. It sucks that it still hurts so much. It sucks that I think of that little baby that was due in November, and then I think of the one that was suppose to be here in January of 10. I hate that all I want to do is crawl in a ball, sob, and sleep. I hate that I can be so devastated, yet carrying another child....

I'm suppose to be happy, I'm suppose to be glowing, but I'm crying. It's so odd. I know the 3rd is going to be really hard, screw really hard its going to flat out suck. I know I'm going to think not only of our Baby Angel, but of Baby Wyatt too. Then I'm going to light a candle and just sit and cry.... All the while, I know Little Guy is going to be kicking the snot out of me and Baby Man will be climbing up my side wanting snuggles.

Oh the balance of mother hood.

Here are our candles. I love them because when we lost our first baby my hubby carved the babies name in to a tree, so the fact that they look like little trees I love!

The funny thing is, Baby Man is obsessed by them. He want's to smell them and give them kisses. I don't know why he kisses them, I didn't teach him that, but I love that he does it.

Poop-land

I'm so naive. I thought my days of baby poop-a-rama were past us, at least with Baby Man of course not Little Guy (the fun wont begin with him till March). At a year and a half, most kids have a good handle on their poop. I know there's the stomach bug, and other issues but blow outs, naww we were in the clear.

Negative ghost rider. Yes, we had the mother (and father) of all blow outs today! I've handled the blow out, the finger paint with poop, even the mash it between the toes poop, but the toddler blow out. Can't do it! Can't handle it. Really fighting throwing up!

See Baby Man has been constipated for um, like six months. Not the whole six months but, we have been fighting it weekly for months now. After taking him to the doctors (a new one) yesterday Baby Man was taken off whole milk and had to start taking miralax, two adult doses a day! Yes, I said two, wanna guess where this is going? Yes, after two doses he woke up yelling for me. I walk into his room and he is pointing in his crib asking "That?".

That, would be a huge gravy like puddle of well, what was in Baby Man.

The kid was coated, he looked like someone was trying to stain him a new color. Plus I didn't realize when I put him down that at the nursery this morning he's diaper was put on backwards. Needless to say, it didn't catch much. I won't go into details of the poop-a-rama, but I do know that the corn he ate yesterday is all out of his system now...

The best part.... Right before that the power company was installing a new power pole and so gracefully knocked over a power line, which broke the water main for our place...

yes, it took a half a container of baby wipes and I'm fighting the urge to just throw his sheets out... I think I'll send the power company a bill.

The Sassy

Life has been crazy and so exciting around these parts! Baby man is growing like a weed and learning more words than I know how to keep up with. Or not say so he doesn't repeat for that matter. Its amazing how fast they pickup on the things you don't want them to!

I've totally re-set up not only this blog but my etsy shop too. I've decided that I need more of an outlet for me, for girl fun things with all these boys popping up! So I'm launching the new Mommy Sassy Pants blog and The Sassy Shop on etsy!

Little back story, my hubby calls me sassy pants all the time, plus all my life I've been called sassy in some way or form (some nicer than others) so I figured at 27 I might as well just accept it. I have some sass.

Here's a preview for the up coming Sassy Shop..

Hope you like them!

Crayons and Prayers

This week has been amazing! It was so beyond words amazing to be back in Charleston and doing all the things that I love to do. There were a few stressful parts, like being stranded for two hours at a gas station with a car that wouldn't start, but other than that it was perfection.

I think the most amazing thing for me was borrowing the book, Praying In Color, from Mrs Katie.

This book is amazing. A really simple read, and a simple concept but soul rocking at the same time. Its really an amazing new way to pray. It is basicily doodling/ coloring your prayer. I know it sounds a little odd but it has totally re-shaped my prayer life. I have always been the girl that was so excited if she had prayed/ had quite time for 15 mins with out my brain running off (you know, grocery list, laundry, random thoughts about food...) but, with the coloring I've focused on one thing for at least 45 mins! I was so excited and felt like the quality of my prayer and time was immeasurable! It's kind of hard to explain, and when it was explained to me I didn't fully get it till Katie showed me it then it clicked! I thought I would share two of my prayer.

For instants this was the first prayer I did. We found out Thursday that we are having another boy! I had to have a emergency ultra sound, everything is okay but we got to see the little man about 5 weeks early!

Here's my prayer for Guy!

It started with his name, as I was drawling in his name I was thinking about protecting him like a boundary around his name. As I was coloring in his boundary I started having words pop up in my head about the little Guy and it just grew from there! I started both of them in pen and then filled in with crayon. I felt so connected not only to God but to Guy. There is nothing that is a greater connector in life then praying for some one. At least I haven't found anything.

Here's another example of a prayer. 

This one was more for our whole life, and started with a lyric from a sound that was playing, "mighty breath of God, move upon this place", and from there I just started thinking of where I wanted that 'breath' to move and it just went from there. The thing I like about this one is somehow different colors started popping up in trends, so for the rest of the day when I saw purple I thought Home and would just say a quick prayer for home, or green I thought of my son's and would pray for them. It was totally not on purpose but it was insane!

I hope you try this. Its really amazing, and a total excuse to bust out some crayons! 

Decisions, decisions...

I'm thinking about changing my hair color. Its been some form of brownish/black for a while now and I think I just want something a little different! Well, kind of different, I've done every color in the book (besides green!) so nothing will be to different!



I really really am loving reds. I used to love and do red all the time (every shade out there!) but, I want to go at it again, in more of a grown up way. (as in go have some one do it right, and not just buy and box and pour it on my head!)



Here's my favorite reds:





I like these two also, not as much as the reds. Its pretty much the two shades I've been bouncing back and forth between for a few years now. But, I thought I would throw them in the ring for a vote too!



So, let me know ladies (and hubby if you want a voice in this ;) )!

11 Weeks

11 weeks! Who would have ever thought I would be showing so much? Not me! But, I love it!

My morning sickness is being totally bi-polar. Once day I'll be sick as all get out, and the next I'll be feeling amazing! I know I've gained weight but I'm not sure how much or, if I even want to know. I am in full out preggo clothes which I laugh at! I can't believe it. I know they say you get bigger quicker your second time but man, I wasn't expecting this!



But, like I said I'm loving it! I feel so pretty this time around even though my hair is so greasy I've actually used dawn to wash my hair, and my face is breaking out like a 15 year old boy. Its hilarious! I can barely wear make-up! Everything that our society is telling is should make me feel pretty makes me feel beautiful! I love it...



Oh and did I mention where moving back to Charleston!! Chris has his official offer letter with a start date of September 5th! ARGH!!! Time to rock and roll!