Stealing My Joy

Have you seen this quote going around? Comparison is the thief of joy. 

The first few times I saw it posted, I just flipped past it, not really giving it a second look. One of those, "oh that's clever" moments and moved on to see what was on sale on our local mommy page. Over the next week it was like that quote was stalking me. Every where I turned it was there and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't understand why it was sticking with me so much. Comparing my self to others has never been a big struggle for me. I'm not saying I've never compared myself, but on my list of struggles it isn't high. 

Then it hit me. How much I really do compare. I compare myself to who I think I should be, to what I think we should have, and where I think we should be in life. I compare our actual life to an expected life. 

There is nothing wrong with hopes, dreams, and goals, but there is something wrong when those wants turn into coveted needs. When I compare our home to the home I would want, yes the joy of our two little bedrooms disappears. When I think about where I wish we were financially, the gift of our needs being met isn't enough. The comparison of wants kills my joy. It kills my joy more often than I would ever want to admit. The unrealistic expectation of the perfect little life in my head chokes the beautiful messy life we have now. 

A lack of joy breeds frustration and anger. Anger at your circumstances, at your spouse, at your children, and at yourself. Your life suddenly becomes not enough. When the 'not enough' start to drive you, it all falls apart. Life is no longer yours. You become a shadow of yourself, a crazy person with expectations to live up to that no one can. You tear your own home down with your own hands.

A wise woman builds her house.
    But a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands.

Proverbs 14:1

I don't want to be a women that tears down my home.  I don't want to be foolish, I want to be wise and joyful. Living a life of thankfulness and gratitude for all that has been given to me. I don't want to compare and be filled with should-of, would-of, could-of's, I want to be filled with thankfulness, gratitude, and a joyful heart. Worshiping the God that gave it all, so I could have my two little bedrooms and one bath. I asked for a house, just a little home and was given. I asked for a husband, children, friends, to live in this beautiful place, and it was all given to me.

I am a blessed women, right where I am at.