Fixin It

This pregnancy has been a different one for me that's for sure! Not only am I having totally different symptoms then I had with the boys, but I'm pregnant durning the summer! With both the boys I had a winter pregnancy, so I have the winter preggo staples. Tunics, leggings, and comfy flat boots fill my closet. Non of which is useful right now! With Charleston summer in full force this lady needed some help!

Insert Stitch Fix!

I was really excited to get my first fix back in March, so when I started running out of things that would fit over my already swelling form I scheduled my second fix.

I am so glad I did! After getting online and updating my profile, gotta let them know I was already bumping, I received some amazing stuff! Really, every item was perfect and I was so tempted to keep it all. I ended up keeping one of the dresses, only because with my rapidly growing belly I was scared some of the other items wouldn't last very long. 

I have to say I totally love this dress. It's so comfy and breezy! The light weight jersey is perfect for our Charleston  humidity and you can wear it belted or not. I would have never thought to belt it, if it wasn't for my husband suggesting it. Which I thought he was crazy, then I checked the style card that comes attached to every item, and they had it belted! Guess he is more fashionable then I am! 

Needless to say this dress has totally became one of my staple items! I loved being able to try it on with things I already had in my closet.  Thats one of my favorite parts about stitch fix, knowing that the outfit will look good with items you already own, and not standing in a store wondering if it would match those shoes you have on the back of your closest. 

You can set up your stitch fix here! 

Try it out, it's not a monthly commitment or anything like that. It might just change the way you shop. I know it changed the way I do. 

This Season

This season, the time right after Mothers Day, tends to hurt. Some years, it's a bitter sweet kind of pain, other times its a searing kind of sadness. Either way, it hurts.

It all started on Mother's Day 2009, the day I found out I was pregnant with out first child. The day, all the years as being told I wasn't going to be able to have kids changed. The day that was our miracle day. Fast forward a few weeks later, I'm laying on the couch sobbing saying good bye to the baby that I was already madly in love with. 

So this year, I brace my self. Not for overwhelming pain, but for a hopeful silence. 

Silence from me, and hope from Christ.

A hope of one day spending the rest of eternity with all my babies.

A hope for this life growing in me now.

A hope of healing.

A hope of new lessons from old heart ache.

As hard as Mothers Day is, the joy of this day is hope and love. 

Love for our children, not matter where they are. 

Birth Mothers Day

In March we where gearing up to make a big announcement. 

A huge announcement that I had been waiting years to make, an announcement that gave me goosebumps, tears, joy, and sadness all crazy and rolled up in one.

We were going to announce that we were starting the adoption process.

Then I found out I was pregnant.

We are still going to adopt ((much much more on that later)) but it leads me to today.

Today is birth Mother's Day.

I think of our future daughter, and her mom. 

Could that dear sweet lady be pregnant right now too?

Could we be sharing morning sickness & flutters?

Could she be daydreaming of her child's face?

I think of her heart. 

Is anyone speaking love to her, or is she ashamed? 

Is she cherished?

Does she know how special she is?

Does she know how much I love her, how much my heart breaks for hers?

Has she made the hardest choice of her life yet?

 All I can do is pray. 

For her heart,

her choices

her life

her spirit.

Pray for her and all the other birth mothers of this world. Mothers that gave up part of their heart, so their child could have more. I could never pretend to know what that feels like. I can just be in awe of that love, respect that lost, and be honored to share a daughter with her.

So dear birth mother, you have will always home in my heart.

All In The Family

I normally don't blog based on things that happen in the news. I don't like to get into the hype of things. There has been plenty of times that I have be fired up about something, sadden by something, or just had a general though of the daily news, I just chose to keep my two cents in.

Until now....

I'm not angry, so this wont be a rant. There was just something I read that made me think. Think about my family. Our die hard dedication to each other, and how we have chosen to show it.

Now I don't know what your stance is on tattoos, but the other day when I read how Obama said he would get a "family" tattoo more too embarrass his daughters if they ever got one, It made me think of my brothers, my dad, my family.

See we have those matching tattoos.

Out of a hard time we chose to show support to each other in the most permanent way we could.
We rallied,
We showed love,
Support,
We chose each other.


So yes, I get looks. I get people asking me if my tattoo was "pre Jesus".((It's hasn't even been a year))
I have people ask about my "party" days. I have people ask if I regret getting it.
The answer is always no.
I will never regret standing with my family, I will never regret showing off what God has done.




I will always be the mom with the arm tattoo.

I will also be the mom proudly taking their child to get one too, if they ever want one.

How about we just get a little more open and a little less, judgy.

Worshiping Wednesday

It's been a dry season. A season that I'm starting to realize, I've set up shop in, but more on that later.

Whenever my heart and soul begin to feel dry, cracked, longing for more, I get turned around. A little lost. This dryness has been there for far longer then I care to admit, it's almost embarrassing. You would think walking through life with its ups and downs, one wouldn't wallow in the downs. But I have.

And it has to change.


My soul needs, needs more the I have been giving it. It's need washed, needs to be drowned in love, grace, hope, Christ. It needs to worship, even if it feels foreign. So we go, again.

Worshiping Wednesdays.

Like before I am going to post something worshiping on Wednesdays. Lyrics, videos, scripture doodles, something that I find to express a heart of worship that day. I need this. I need this worship. I need this rhythm in my life, I need this accountability.

I just need....

So here's this weeks worship song:




This song, oh this song, is so perfect.
Prone to wonder Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. 
Bind my wandering heart to Thee...

Oh my 12

How did we already get here, 12 weeks pregnant?! It's funny I thought my pregnancy with Guy flew by. This one is in total over drive!

I have already "popped". Actually I was already showing before we announced anything, which made for some very questioning looks. Dressing a bump is so much easier than hiding a bump!

As for the preggo run down, morning sickness is more like even sickness, but zofran is helping! I was on it last pregnancy but it did nothing, so I'm very thankful it's really working this time. I have total mommy zombie brain. I am always forgetting where I am going, I actually got lost five mins from my house twice, on a straight shot major highway kind of road! I also got all dressed and ready for a friends baby shower, stalker texted my other friend that I was riding with, got all worked up and anxiety filled because she was late. Only to realize the shower was the next day!

Like I said, the mommy brain is in full force!

It's really fun being pregnant this time because Holden is all about the pregnancy! He calls the baby "Little" and love to look at the baby center app to see pictures and the animated videos of a baby. He loves to tell me the baby in HIS belly is making him sick. ((We just leaving that alone right now, I don't feel like explaining the birds and the bees to a 3 year old))

Im really excited to have a gender reveal party! I've got some great ideas and have been pinning like crazy! Its going to be so much fun. I'm super thankful that my friends are helping me. They actually have divided out who is going to help me with the gender reveal and who is going to throw the shower.

It's all happening so fast this time!

Simply

 

Ya'll seriously! 

We're a little surprised, I'm significantly knocked out with morning sickness, and the boys (well Holden) is beyond obsessed with the baby. I have so much to tell ya'll and promise more of the story will be coming your way. It's a pretty good story!