The Climb

Can I tell you a story?

Guy, my one year old has learned to climb up on things. It's hysterical watching those chunky thighs trying so hard to get on to the couch, that pure determination at such a seemingly small feat. He has gotten very brave at what he will try and conquer. The coffee table, our bed, the toy box, your name it theres nothing he won't climb. As much determination he has to climb, he has equals amount of fear of getting back down. He starts his climb down, suddenly away of his distance from the floor, and the panics. 

This little teared stain, red faced child cries out to me. Scared, he doesn't realize how close I am, how close he is to the floor. Never knowing that all he has to do stretch out his little toe out just a bit, and he would be safely back, back on the floor, back in my arms, back at center. 

But that is what distance does. It makes you think you are further away then you are. In the moment, sitting on top of your table, the table that with all your own determination you climbed, you realize your higher up then you knew, higher then you are comfortable with. You realize how alone you feel. 

That's where grace comes. The grace of having a Father standing right there. I'm pretty sure He's chuckling just a bit at my chunky thighed race to the top, and even more at my slight panic when I realize I'm somewhere I didn't want to be. I think of the time I've spent crying over the distance, the feelings of loneliness, and the lack of grace in my own life. To self centered to see the lesson of climbing down.

See when Guy climbs up and get stuck, I don't get pick him up and set him firmly back on the ground. I take his little foot, pull it down the few centimeters he has left till it touches the floor. In that moment he realizes. Realizes how close he actually was, how I was right there beside him, and he smiles. Is he terrified while I guide him backwards? Absolutely, normally he can't see what I am doing, he just feels the falling, then he realizes he's falling into my arms.  

Just like I have to fall back into Gods arms. It's scary, having to let go, but thankfully He has already covered the distance, He has already done the work. He is pointing my foot down, giving it a little tug, watching me panic, yet loving me enough to tug a little harder, till my feet are firmly planted back on the ground, back on the rock. 

See Ive felt very distant lately. A distance from God, grace, fulfillment, just distant. 

Distance: creeping, lingering, sneeky distance. So I am going to breath, stretch out a little more, and remember God is right beside me.

Like He has been all along.