Walking Shoes

wizzzzz, hear that?

Yup that was the past year!

Mothers day this year had me walking down memory lane. Now I know that normally the holiday that gets people to put on their walking shoe's is new years, but mothers day was a big deal for me last year (even bigger this year). See last year I got the biggest surprise of my life. Last year, I found out I was going to be a mom, on mothers day.

Oh the irony.
Oh the joy & surprise.

I was told two years before that I wasn't going to be able to have children. So imagine my shock and excitement when two lines showed up on the little stick (and again and again, yes three test were taken in all.) I was glowing, floating, totally on cloud nine. Until two weeks later I had a miscarriage. I vividly remember thinking that I didn't want to go through this mothers day. Odd thought I know, but at that moment I was dreading it more than anything.

Its crazy how that one though just kept popping up all last week. How could I have really been dreading this. I started believing that if I could just get to the baby dedication and replace that memory with something else everything would be okay. Everything would be that way it was suppose to be. But, I was wrong. So wrong. It wasn't about replacing the memory. I will always remember that child and love that child. It was about celebrating the blessing that God had given me, twice. I'm a mom. The one thing I've always wanted to be, and I am. All because God has blessed me with the most amazing job ever!

Oh what a difference a year makes.
What a difference a God makes.

At first I though I was doing good with all of it because I have my wonderful little boy. But, I realized that as much as I love my son, he's not what kept me from falling to pieces. It was God, God showing me that I didn't need anything or anyone but, Him. I was able to remember that little baby, and hold my son in my arms and smile. He has placed some amazing, wonderfully, loving and caring people in my life. People that have help strengthen me, heal me and watched (and watered) me grow. They added hope and light into my year and for that I will always be beyond thankful for! I know they were my angels, my blessings, they were used by God.

I am blessed because I am HIS daughter. Everything else is just a little extra icing on the cake!