Time Out

I feel fidgety today, like 8 months pregnant and you cant find a comfortable way to sleep kind of fidgety. My soul is fidgety. Fidgety for something to do, something to move, anything besides this lesson. This sit still season. This season, the never ending season of sitting still. I know if I would just learn this lesson I could move on.

But I fight.
Like a toddler sitting in time out, I twist.
I turn, trying to sneak out to grab on to something, only to be sat back down.

-Sit-

I wish there was a timer.
That way I could see how much longer I had to bare through this.
This stillness..

Only to go back, back tot he stuff I have piled up waiting for me. But, that's not the point in a lesson.
The point is to move forward not back. Not to go back into business, but to make room. To cut back, let the season that need to end, pass and let God create the seasons that need to start.
Honestly I"m not good at season changes. I like my rhythms and habits. I don't like to let go.
Especially to let go, just to fall into stillness.
Stillness makes me uncomfortable. To me stillness = laziness. I know, I'm shaking my head at myself too.  I know in stillness I can find God, find refreshment, joy & purpose.

In stillness I am recharged.
In stillness I am focused.
In stillness I throw a fit.

You would think by now I would just sit still already.