Choices (or what I call I Don't Wanna!)

I am not good at choices.
Most of the time, I make the wrong one. The ones that end up hurting the most, those roads that seem to take the long way around.

Confounding choices (image me shaking my fist at the sky, cause I did).

These are the days, the crazy parenting trenches, that my choices seem to hold much more weight then ever before. With a screaming toddler and a one year old that is always frustrated at his lack of mobility, these small choices change everything. My choices come from my priorities. My priorities are out of whack. Thus my choices, well, suck.

What are my priorities? Easy answer for a christian, it should be God, Marriage, Family, everything else. But how often do those stay in line. Not only that, but do I know/understand/ think about what each of those priorities mean? What choices have to be chosen for those priorities to stay in line? It is oh so easy to run through the list: God, Marraige, Family, etc.... and not see the weight, the amount of work, it takes for each priority to be statsified. For example, God. God is all around us, loves us, etc, but what about what I choices I need to make every day to set Him as the top of my list?
Do I read my bible daily? Nope.
Do I pray daily? Does "please God, make them stop screaming" count?
Do I stop and let Him renew me? Or do I run to my cup of coffee instead?

And I wonder why my choices aren't easy to make.

So, what to do? Glad you ask!

I'm making a list, and checking it twice. I'm challenging my self, to really look at my list, and see not just what my list is, but what does each item call for? What choices do I need to make in a day to really put the effort into each category?

Now I am by no means, saying or doing anything to be "wonder mom". More of an experiment on choices and the power my choices actually hold. So here we go!

God- I have to chose Him daily. Chose to have some form of communication with Him. Reading the bible, worshiping, praying, and maybe a little journaling.

Hubby- I have to love him and respect him. But how does he feel respected? How does he feel loved? Honestly, he loves to come home to a clean house. I'm not talking about the five min, ikea bag clean (you know when you run around shoving everything into an ikea bag before a friend comes over so your house looks super clean.) But, a good clean. He feels respected when I take care of what his hard work has provided for us.

My Kiddos- Besides the normal, changing diapers, feeding them, and making sure they aren't beating each other up (who knew boys start to wrestle at one!) They need me to guide them, teach them, help the grow into sweet loving, strong boys. That in itself takes all day.

That's a lot of things I have (should) chose to do. I'm exhausted just looking at the list, and that doesn't even include my ministry things, my business, and a shower! But it DOES make me realize how I haven't been choosing the "big things". I've been choosing the fun things. The things that make me feel accomplished, not the things I'm called to accomplished.

What about you? What would your list look like?