Be warned, this is might turn into one of "those" post.
You know the rambling, emotional, well... vomit kind of post.
Here is goes.
I am exhausted.
Not just physically, but over all exhausted. Okay maybe less exhausted and more like stuck. Yes, stuck I like that better.
I'm stuck.
I hate being stuck.
It's like the movie Groundhogs Day, living the same day over and over. But for me, its like knowing the next day is Christmas, and I'm living Christmas Eve over and over. I know something great is right there when I wake up, but it keeps eluding me. Honestly, it sucks.
I tend to be a "yes" girl. Yes, I'll do that. Yes, I'll help with that. Yes, pick me pick me. Its not healthy or helpful, even though it comes from a need to be helpful. It's ridiculous I know but, its me. So that's where I am. I'm stuck in "yes", drowning in "yes. Which means, once again I have to cut back. I hate it. But, this is my Groundhog lesson. I cross the line before I see the line. Instead of looking at boundaries I've put in place, I run over them, not noticing until I've made a pretty good neglectful mess of things.
That's where I've been, sweeping up the sand. Re-drawling lines, day after day.
How about you, do you have to re-draw lines?
this was a good way of describing the problem and the feeling... I find that even though I can always get the stuff done SOMEHOW, it is not without stress. I usually don't realize I'm stressed until I start having physical symptoms, which is so pathetic. I always feel like "if only I can get caught up in this or that area" and that it's my fault I'm not, so I shouldn't make other people wait because I didn't get my own crap together. so my own stuff is what usually gets further behind... I still have hope, and hopefully it is not misguided =)
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