Today

I've decided I am going to be as transparent going through this as I can. Two years ago when we were dealt this same blow, I hide. Very well if I do say so my self, this time I refuse too. My hiding did nothing but making this 100 times harder. I'm sure you know that your mind can be a very very scary place if left alone, and that's how it was last year.

So I'm going to blog a lot. It might get annoying, if it does don't read it :).

I fell asleep last night realizing I had said something that night that, well wasn't true anymore.
My friend Jamie is a really amazing photographer (check her out!) that I have been making (fighting with) little babies hats for (which is a whole different post, just you wait!) . Well I was looking at some of her pictures and said to Chris "oh, I almost forgot I need to message Jamie about doing preggo pictures for us."

Yeah, didn't hit me until about 2 am as I'm laying in bed finally drifting off to sleep.
Needless to say, I woke up today pretty sad.

I have a feeling its just going to be like this for a while. Good days, bad days, and just sad days.

Just different seasons...

I think that is why I am so in love with the Desert Song from Hillsong. Not only did it really help lift my spirits, but its so simple: 'all of my life in every season you are still God, and I have a reason to sing.' To me its reassuring to know that there is still truly a reason to keep singing. To know that no matter how much it hurts and how it jumps up at you at random times it will be okay.

So, today I'm sad. Today I'm still going to sing, I'm just going to cry a little too.