See that little elephant Holden has in his hands. Well He doesn't like to let it go. He will scoot over to that part of his activity gym and just hold it and chew on it. Its really cute and he loves it.
But, not when he's trying to roll over. See I watched as he tried and tried to roll over. He normally rolls all over the house. The other day he was under the table! (still can't figure out how he maneuvered between the chairs!) He just couldn't roll over with that elephant in his hands. He didn't understand that the elephant was holding him back. He would get half way over and just grunt and fuss but, never letting go.
Can you guess where I'm going with this.
I'm trying to figure out what my elephant is. I know God has us here in Charlotte for a reason and its time for us to "roll over" and dig in here but, I don't want too! I'm not ready to let go of Charleston! Thus leading to my hyperventilating in the tub! So here's my tantrum.
I miss my home! I miss Charleston so badly!
I miss my small group.
I miss leading a small group.
I miss people calling it a small group!
I miss go to the church offices.
I miss the amazing women I had around me!
(aka, Debbie, Julie, Christie, Heather, Katie, Mary Chris and the list keeps going!)
I miss the well.
I miss people push each other!
I miss people really poring into each others spirits.
I miss the amazing ministry possibilities that we had!
I miss the life that we felt.
I miss the LIFE study & Retreat!
I miss people knowing who Beth Moore, Andy Stanley, Francis Chan, ect are!!!
(side note: I really believe a church can only grow so much with out connecting with the rest of the church out side of your own four walls!)
I miss the beach.
(yes, this is the first sign of a total tiffany melt down!)
I just miss my life I thought I was going to have.
I'm not sure if I'm ready to put that dream down, roll over, and deal with what I have now.
I thought I would be at dive deeper every Thursday, leading a collage girls group, being in student ministries. I thought I would be able to get the burned off my heart and create some sort of ministry that could be a bridge for people in the transitions of life. aka. from high school to collage, and from collage to adult.
I just thought I would still be in Charleston.
Man, I miss that big silly bridge.
now where did I put that paper bag?
Oh, we miss you in Charleston too, but you are there for a reason! Don't let being in another city keep you from leading a small group and getting involved in ministry like you want to do!! :) I'm praying for you Tiff!
ReplyDeleteTiffany - I honestly know how you feel. I felt the same way when I left the only home I ever knew in NY 3 years ago. And the missing is still there, but it becomes easier to lay aside when you see God's plans for you unfold. Be patient - it's coming. Here I am three years later and God has done amazing things in and through me that would have never happened had I not come. I stil miss "home" but I wouldn't trade it for the glory that has been given to God from my move. HE has GREAT plans for you. Hold on tight to him. And make sure you still visit lots! ;-) Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI love you heart and transparency and willingness to share. I love that we are women and he has equipped us to nest and develop deep roots that are not easily replanted. But, I love even more that during this time He gets to be your Jesus. From the pains in my life I know they have come just like this somedays lighter & others heavier than you thought, but hold on sweet sister because He will draw near and out of His comfort you will also have a greater ministry of reconciliation to push others to Him. Keep sharing so we keep seeing Him work! I miss you too and really want to babysit so come back for a visit and lets get coffee, you get a date night and I get to love on that sweet Holden! Katie
ReplyDeleteI think we've all been here before. I recently moved to Charleston from Athens, GA and for the first six months I thought I would just die. I'm thinking of you in your difficult transition! And I really appreciate the honesty with which you write your posts. It's refreshing :) Good luck in all that you do!
ReplyDeleteTara