Dear Pregnancy

I feel like we have come to a point in our relationship that I can speak freely with you. I have decided I really am not a fan of yours. Actually, I just don't like you, at all. I know your a joy, a blessing, a moment I'll never get back, but I'm not buying it. Now before you get all offended let me tell you I am really happy and excited about Holden. I have never been more thrilled about the future and my son. But, you, well you still suck.

Maybe, if we had gotten off on a better foot things might have been better for us. We have to face reality, we were doomed from the start. Maybe if I would have more time to feel human we could have bonded. Instead I went from peeing on a stick to puking my brains out in a matter of days. Sadly you didn't see things my way. You had more of a hulk like future for me. Zero to green in 3.2 seconds. Oh my bruised ribs say "thanks" (between you and me I think they are being sarcastic).

Sadly, I held out hope. Others were telling me how wonderful you had been to them, I began to think maybe you would be sweeter to me. Oh what a fool I was! Over the past seven in a half months, you have sucked! Between the exhaustion, never feeling full (I'm not even going to mention what you have done to my body!) and the long list of foods I can't eat, and things I can't do I find nothing sweet about you.

Pregnancy you do not have fan in this momma. I feel you should let off. I feel like I have earned a lighter sentence for this last ten weeks. Now I know that's not your typical MO, but I'm trying to salvage our relationship.



PS.. I think you have placed a sign on me that reads "ask me inappropriate questions" & "strangers please touch me". Could you please tell me where they might be? I would like to take them off now.